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What do Israeli President Moshe Katsav, US Presidents JFK and Bill Clinton and the First President of Ireland Douglas Hyde got in common, apart from the fact that they are or were presidents of their respective countries, of course? Well done, you’re right; it’s got to with having sex with their employees. Wait a minute, Douglas Hyde? That ‘fine and scholarly old gentleman’ - what the hell is going on?

Israel is currently reeling from news that their beloved president Moshe Katsav may be guilty of using his powerful position to have sexual relations with an employee. Katsav denies it, saying, according to Haaretz, that ‘he has never had sexual relations with any employee of the President's Residence’.

Political power and sex are closely associated, of course, as blindingly illustrated by the reported antics of JFK (the notches on his bedpost include Marilyn Monroe, Angie Dickinson, a stripper 'Blaze' Starr and Judith Exner Campbell, who was also the mistress of a Chicago mobster, Sam Giancana. He also cavorted with two of his secretaries in the White House pool, although I’m not sure if it was with both of them at the same time).

The impeachment proceedings against Bill Clinton were based on his final admission, in taped grand jury testimony on August 17, 1998, that he had an "improper physical relationship" with the White House intern Monika Lewinsky. There was talk of a ‘semen stained blue dress’ and a cigar, but there is no need to go in to the sordid details here.

But could any of this happen in Ireland? Of course, not. All our presidents act according to the highest standards and rumours to the contrary are never to be heard, although P.Flynn got in to hot water when he suggested, during a Presidential election campaign that Mary Robinson’s family life was not all it claimed to be.

But inevitably the Irish public memory is short. During Douglas Hyde’s term as Ireland’s first president rumours began to circulate that the poor aging President may be becoming senile and starting to develop an eye for the ladies (including his household staff). Though completely untrue (having suffered a stroke he was confined to a wheel chair) rumours reached such a peak that Myles Na Gopaleen penned this witty Limerick:

There once was a man called an t-Uachtaráin
who lived in Áras an Uachtaráin,
He was fond of his nookie,
he had a go at the cookie,
And there is the couch that he f-uchtaráin. (pronounced 'fucked her on.')

If the case against Katsav proves to be untrue he may never be able to get rid of the stain (on his reputation) if there is an Israeli satirist half as good as Myles working against him.