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In a new RTE radio series called Pimp My Life (airs Saturday 7.30pm), radio presenter Richie Bernie is chronicling his attempt to overhaul the ‘banger of his life’. The premise is simple enough. Everyone goes about everyday with their longest held dreams and aspiration flickering on the back of their mind like a looped home movie. We look at those dreams from time to time and think about making them a reality – but let’s face it folks, we probably never will.

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Fine Gael will romp home to electoral victory by staging a Fine Gael inspired commemoration of the 1916 Rising a month before Fianna Fail does, delegates at this weekends Ard Fheis were told.

With the timing of the next general election still far from certain, Fine Gael are putting together a plan that will undermine the current incumbents attempts to retake the glory of 1916 for their own benefit two years in a row.

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When looking at road safety we have to apply Pareto’s 80/20 principle, 80% of the accidents are caused by 20% of the drivers on Irish roads, writes Joe O’Conner.

The catastrophe on Irish roads is the result of a few minor breeches of good road safety that, when combined in the driving habits of a single driver leads to terrible consequences. For example, take speeding. On its own it’s a breech, but perhaps not enough of a factor to cause a crash. After all, people drive over the speed limit all time. However, combine it with a couple of drinks (maybe only one or two over the limit) with a lack of sleep, perhaps.... already you’re heading for trouble. Add them to poor roads and poor weather, well the picture is not pretty.

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Here are some of the quotes from people in the news this week. This is going to be a regular Friday feature on Dublin Opinion. If you’ve got some other quotes you like that I may have left out please add them in the comments box or contact me at editordublinopinion[at]gmail.com.

"I have very strongly suggested that we bring in a business consultant to look at the cost of the bureaucrats, huge raft of bureaucrats. The present prison system is a total failure. I have no doubt about it."

Inspector of Prisons Dermot Kinlen, speaking on RTÉ's News at One today Friday the 5th of May

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"There are obviously people who don't read a newspaper, don't watch the television or don't listen to the radio and simply don't get the message. But they will find out the hard way." So threatens Gaybo, when asked by the Irish Times for his reaction to the news that 320 motorists were arrested by Gardai for suspected drink or drug-driving over the May bank holiday weekend. It’s an increase of 20 on last year.

It will require, he bemoans ‘a very long period of education, sermonising and enforcement until people come around.’

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Some random thoughts written about Ireland’s first Ikea store (scribbled on the back of an IKEA customer comment sheet using several IKEA pencils) by resident shipwreck Seán Báite.

Ballymun is, I believe, to be blessed with the birth of Ireland's first Ikea store sometime before the next Papal Visit. As I understand it, the Soldiers of Destiny (hereafter referred to as the SoDs) and their progressive friends are to act as its midwives by brushing some auld bye-law regarding square footage under the carpet. They don't even seem to be too concerned with the sound of Dev headbutting his coffin at the thought of his SoD inheritors dressed up as bleddy midwives. Never mind the fact that this is probably the last time anything can be brushed under the carpet, as from now on we’ll be living in an Ireland entirely covered with tasty Scandinavian parquet!

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