(NOT SO) GREAT IRISH BANDS 1: CRYSTAL SWING
Feb 25th, 2010 by Sean Baite
I swear to youse - I didn’t go looking for this. After I’d finished puking up behind a flower pot during the cocktail reception, Graham Linehan’s site pointed me in the direction of fellow comedy writer, Robert Popper where these 4 or so minutes were lurking. I had foolishly believed Ireland had evolved somehow in the ten years since I left. But no - this kind of band still exists - only the keyboard is much much bigger and they get slots on ‘Rural TV’ (whatever that is). I suppose they’re the sort of band the Corrs would have continued being if some big feck-off record company hadn’t come along with a truckload of makeovers and image consultants. Anyhow, enjoy :
POSTSCRIPT: Conor & Donagh - please don’t take up the baton on this series - as it has the potential to go on forever.
Good God, Sean, what are you doing to us? I tried, but I only managed to get as far as 2 minutes 14 seconds before I had to stop it. It’s like a Young Fine Gael put to music with their fawning mother behind an SUV-sized keyboard.
Still shaking….
Fuck me.
It’s a parody, right?
Right?
Pleeeease
I’m afraid not Tombuktu… their phone number’s up huge on the keyboard - so you can give them a bell just to check.
After watching the whole lot, Donagh, I think I’m ‘feeling soiled in Spanish’
Crystal Swing? Is that a suggestion that after listening to their music you’d want to hang yourself from the chandeliers at whatever wedding reception you had the misfortune to hear them.
Dunno what you’re all giving out about. Jesus, they’re just trying to get a gig like the rest of us. I wonder if the keyboard player’s their mother? She has a way with the lens anyway.
WTF’s Rural TV though and why can’t you get it in Inchicore?
Rural TV is on Sky Digital. It is my favourite channel. Ah it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard.
They’ve made the big time: a cover version at Pantibar in Dublin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waHrxROTYQs
Dunno what you’re all giving out about. http://melodycenta.com/The_Corrs/music_id231132qw1/
That’s brilliant Tomboktu, I bet they’re delighted
Sorry commenters - been away for a weekend of tequila slammers and sleazy Spanish vocabulary lessons..
Apparently, during my absence, they’ve been in the IT :
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/weekend/2010/0227/1224265257624.html
The ‘Crystal’ bit inspired by Crystal Gale - should’ve guessed !
[…] Their overnight internet stardom has already been picked up by The Irish Times , The Irish Independent, Newstalk, 98 FM and our friends at Dublin Opinion. […]
Watching them for me for like was like looking at a car wreck, you know what you might see will be unpleasant or in this case embarrasing, but you look anyway out of somekind of morbid curiosity.
like looking at a car wreck apologies for linking to the Daily M**l but you might just have been thinking of an accident involving this :
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1218054/Touch-class-Footballer-buys-Wag-girlfriend-264-000-pimped-Bentley.html
As if by co-incidence - uber-plonker Stephen Ireland comes from not far away from where Cryshtal Schwing have that musical torture chamber in the cellar of their house.
(Shudders again and again)
Not sure what to say,
Im in a daze, cant wait to show my Swing Band