I’ve already posted about The Courier (1988), possibly the worst Irish film of all time. However, what I neglected to mention was the tiny role I play in the movie.
About 40 minutes in, the main character is dropping off a package to a video editor. The video he is working on is ‘Burn Clear’ by Something Happens. Now I was at the shoot for this video, along with a group of my friends. It was held in the Baggot Inn I think one Sunday afternoon in 1987, and as far as we knew it was just a video shoot. We didn’t know anything about bloody couriers - although I was in a band at the time called The Wrycatchers - I was the drummer, and yes I’ve heard them all - and we had a song called “Motorbike boy” which is sort of related, but only in an Alex Jones Illuminati kind of way. The song, by the way, was a hate-song to couriers, which included the wonderful couplet “I see you in traction / oh such satisfaction”.
Anyway, as the video guy is editing the footage, a clip pops up where you can see the back of my head. As you can expect, I dined out on that story for fucking weeks.
The Courier has a litany of bit-part players. Possibly the most shocking - and for all the wrong reasons - is contained in the clip below. It’s a scene where eponymous is getting rat-arsed in a sleazy bar in downtown Dublin. The cabaret for the night is Toni, Exotic Dancer, and, well, how can I explain Toni? It’s not easy, I have to say.
Toni was a large-chested housewife from Tallaght, who used to “dance” in the Lower Deck in Portobello on Sunday mornings before the holy hour. she had other slots as well, but the image of a forty-something housewife from Tallaght flashing her tits on a Sunday morning to a packed-pub of pissed-up Dubs is the one that really scarred me, you know? Her act used to cough up all the usual holy ruccus, and at one point even Gay Byrne got involved and interviewed her on the Late Late Show.
And if you think I’m exaggerating, well, have a look for yourself. You have been warned.