IDIOT PR DESIGN FOR LIFE
Feb 24th, 2009 by Sean Baite
[ Success story Jacques SEGUELA talks Rolex on French TV -
Daily Motion Screencap ]
I’ve never had much time for PR people, spindoctors, publicists or such botton-dwellers (sic). A controversial remark made over here last week hasn’t done a great deal to warm my heart to them. Jacques SEGUELA (pictured above) - PR adviser down the years to Mitterand, Segolène Royale and a few African potentates who actually bothered staging elections was appearing on a daytime TV programme promoting his autobiography. When Sarkozy inevitably came up in the conversation, or more specifically Sarko’s liking for Rolexes and Ray Bans, SEGUELA, in his defence, made the following astonishing statement :
If by the age of fifty, you don’t have a Rolex, you’ve failed in life.
Now, I have to thank Sarkozy’s election for increasing my English vocabulary by one word - bling-bling a word I hadn’t been aware of before leaving the English-speaking world ten years ago. Apparently it has something to do with vulgar ostentation - and possibly with gangsta-rappers. Bling-bling has migrated into French and most frequently occurs, it appears to me, in commentary on the Sarkozy couple. Séguéla’s ever so delicate comment allows me a little insight into the mindset of Paris’s movers and shakers - not a million miles away from the worldview of some gangbanger - lamentable
I don’t think we need to rush off to buy M. Séguéla’s book for any more proof of the man’s adroitness with the spoken or written word. Fortunately, there are still a few left to redeem France’s honour
First witness to the stand has to be the late great Pierre DESPROGES, wit and comedian. Quoted within the first few paragraphs of the above Wikipedia article on Séguéla is the following from the legendary early 80s radio programme Tribunal des flagrants délires (The Court of Flagrant Delirium) :
Is Jacques Séguéla an idiot ? Two possibilities : either Jacques Séguéla is an idiot, which would surprise me just a little; or Jacques Séguéla is not an idiot , now that would surprise me a lot.
Séguéla was the guest on the particular show - in the box. Last word has to go to a reader of Marianne, going under the alias of Boomerang quoted in a reaction piece here :
No doubt that, were the abject measured by the hands of a Rolex, Séguéla would be guaranteed to live eternally
Abject apologies for the quality of the Báitefish translations.
Footnote : Báite tells time by a battered mobile phone and intends to be a fully-finished loser by the age of fifty.
One recalls the comment attributed to the late Mrs Thatcher that if a man of thirty is still travelling on the bus, that man is a failure. Rare was the bus journey undertaken in my thirties when that comment did not come to mind.
Ha! I was always wondering what the inspiration for this song was, exactly.
EJH - proves great minds think alike (methinks not on the ‘great’ bit)
Have I missed out on Mrs T snuffing it ? I think I still have the bottle of champagne in the fridge untouched.
Nice one Donagh - Cork’s finest once again. Ironic that Thatcher’s mate Tebbit wanted everyone on their bikes, ain’t it ?
“I’m a driver, I’m a winner… Things are going to change, I can feel it.”
Tut tut Conor - shouldn’t be promoting Scientology on here
I hope the change doesn’t involve ascending a marble staircase with the statues of L.Ron at various levels on the banisters.
Well, when the spaceship leaves with all of us saved on it, I’ll remember to send youse all a text as I’m laughing my ass off. Only losers take the cross.
By the way, nice to know that the political/religious affiliations of artists is the abiding concern here. You still reading Céline, Séan? How about you, Donagh, how’s Cioran working out for you? Last night I was watching “time of the Gypsies”, but as Kusturina has some dubious Serbian nationalist tendencies, I should have instead tut-tuted my way through its brilliance.
Céline - I’m playing mouth organ on his next album - Guignol’s Lonely Hearts Club Band…
Must say - already couldn’t listen to Beck when I read Will Oldham in an interview put him down as a vacuous idiot - but learning only recently he was a Scientologist hasn’t done much to enhance his reputation.
Still don’t change the station when ‘Modern guilt’ comes on - but feel guilty enjoying it.
Well, an incest-loving alcoholic. You really going to start with Will Oldham as a moral compass? Odelay is still a wonderful record - and I always thought vacuous idiot and pop music went hand in hand, no? Oh well, there you go. The old ham has spoken.
My dislike of Beck comes from a time when I worked in a small office where one guy played the music on his PC loudly through his speakers. There was a consensus that the guy had good musical taste, so being a ‘cool’ office, no one else seemed to mind. And most of the time I didn’t either, except for the fact that he played Beck incessantly. It got to the stage where I felt a bit ill everytime I heard the opening notes of The New Pollution.
That incest-loving alcoholic still writes far far better lyrics than Beck ever could. Scientology has nothing to do with it. He’s still a vacuous idiot.
“beat on the brat
beat on the brat
beat on the brat
with a baseball bat.
oh yeah. oh yeah. oh, ho, ho, ho, yeah”
Pop music, baby. It aint deep.
All you’ve said here Donagh is that the music of Beck ignites a Pavlovian response in you. And the fact that scientology has nothing to do with it is the reason why you put a link to an article which criticises Beck for being a scientologist, then?
Actually, how about
“fun fun fun onde autobahn
fun fun fun onde autobahn
fun fun fun onde autobahn”
Well, I know it’s in German, (and its really “Wir fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn”) but they took the sounds from the Beach Boys. Too vacuous? You know, to use lyrics for their sounds rather than meaning?
an incest-loving alcoholic
Well at least that leaves me with 50% in common with him - as opposed to 0% in common with Alan Hansen’s lula cousin who believes some message from space can empower us all to be as cool as fucking Tom Cruise.
I think Oldham was referring to him as vacuous having met him - rather than any vacuity evident in his work.
Donagh’s link does smack a lot of Conspiracy Theory Monthly style writing - but take a look at the quote from Beck on Scientology from some Irish interview on the Beck Wikipedia entry - doesn’t do much to dispel accusations of him being ‘vacuous’.
start with…. a moral compass
Fucking hell, Conor, you have a high estimation of how well equipped I am - ‘moral compass’ - wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with one…
So we no longer can take Beck seriously and you can - no need to turn it into a tribunal cross-examination…
I’m not trying to dispel any accusations of Beck being vacuous. I’m saying that in terms of pop music it’s hardly something that matters - in fact, in terms of popular music it’s the norm. As far as the scientology thing goes, Beck was raised as a scientologist, and rarely talks about it, unlike Tom Cruise who is a convert and has all the passion of one as well. It has never figured in his work and only came out comparatively recently when he was asked about it in an interview. As far as believing in weird things from space as a black mark, don’t know where that puts syd barrett. Then again, I suppose there’s acceptable lula, and unacceptable lula, which, when you think about it, is a bit lula itself. Daniel Johnston is a christian fundamentalist, Kurt Cobain was a fan of Larry Norman, as is Frank Black, Phil Spector loves guns a little bit too much, Joey Ramone supported George Bush, oldham is a hairy alcoholic who writes incest-love ballads, and Beck is a vacuous scientologist. Tut tut to Beck, I suppose.
Ah - so it was use of the phrase ‘tut tut’ that riled ye ? Going by the number of times you’ve echoed it.
I give up, I’m running for the Pyrenees in an auld Ford Fiesta whose exhaust will go ‘tut tut’ all the way.
Hear from ye on Sunday.
PS Syd Barrett and Daniel Johnston have both the excuses of bad acid trips shortly before entering lula-dom… then again - Beck didn’t exactly come across as a CPAD in his early days either… shit, I thought I’d given up
Forgot Hayes was one too - hence his falling out with the South Park people…
Enough of all these Hubbardhuggers - let’s get back to musicians with a reasonable, mainstream system of beliefs :
Good ol’ Genesis P…