Dublin Opinion

Fine Gael and Enda Kenny are giving it socks today about “common sense” and “missed opportunities.” Kenny’s trying to make out that during the past four years Fine Gael was a tough-nut opposition, one that wasn’t afraid to shoot from the hip, to tell it like it is, to crap REAL bullets - and fire them too. Hard as a Chuck Norris testicle.

In an address to the party sheep today, Kenny said that “We are doing so much worse because the foundations of our economy were so skewed by the love affair Fianna Fáil has with construction. For the last five years, the Irish economy was like a three-legged stool with one leg missing. We kept upright on adrenalin and excitement. Fine Gael consistently pointed to the lack of balance.”

Really? The Gaelicly-Gaels calling for a slowdown in the housing market? What’s that in their 2007 manifesto about selling off public land to private developers in order to build more housing? Or reforming stamp duty for first-time buyers in order to facilitate the purchase of housing at higher prices? And last January (2008) when they told the Irish people that the public service, wage restraint, decentralization, and e-government strategy were the true faultlines in the economy? Absolutely no mention of housing or construction. Or January 2007, when they said energy prices were hurting the Irish economy; again, no mention of housing.

But I digress.

The funniest part of Kenny’s speech today lies in his solutions, his promise of GETTING TOUGH GODDAMMIT with Fianna Fáil - Chuck Norris testicle tough - getting all Kung-Fu on their asses. Here’s what he said today:

The forthcoming Dáil session will be vigorous and active. There may well be a by-election to fill the vacancy created by the untimely death of the late Seamus Brennan TD. The economy will be the central focus of political debate, as will the deteriorating situation in regard to health services and an education sector itself in recession. Fine Gael is already well prepared with a range of Private Members’ Bills, either ready for publication or in the process of being approved.

Quite apart from the fact that he sounds like he’s selling Viagra (”vigorous and active”), Kenny then went on to list the Gaelicly-Gael’s line of Dáil attack. Remember, mind, he’s told us the focus is on the economy.

Fine Gael is already well prepared with a range of Private Members’ Bills, either ready for publication or in the process of being approved. These include:

- Private Members’ Bill on Victims’ Rights
- Private Members’ Bill on Home Defence
- Private Members’ Bill on the Admissibility of Evidence
- Private Members’ Bill on Data Protection
- Pursuit of Government in holding a referendum to protect children as committed to in the Programme for Government.”

WTF??????

This is Ralph Wiggum territory.

He said that he’s going to attack the government’s economic policy through private members’ bills, and then proceeds to list four private bills, none of which have anything to do with the fucking economy.

The dilemma for Fine Gael is that they have to appear tough, they have to appear as an opposition to Fianna Fáil, but they are backed by the same vested interests as Fianna Fáil. They are more right-wing than Fianna Fáil, though. It’s an angle, I suppose.

Oh well. Maybe Fine Gael’s real interest is not with the business and landed interests that fund its campaigns, or with the suppliers of private planes to the USAF during the current Iraq war. Maybe it wants to be in power so, you know, it can make Ireland a better, whiter, place. One thing’s for certain. Fine Gael is not aching to get into power in order to implement an alternative economic policy to Fianna Fàil.

Cos it ‘aint got one.