Dublin Opinion

…Suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. (Acts 2:2-4)

In the early 1880s Charles Stewart Parnell turned the Home Rule party from a bunch of self-serving MPs castrated by personal agendas to one that came within a hair’s breath of achieving its goal of self-government for Ireland. He did this through a series of party reforms, the most significant of which was the creation of the party whip. It brought an iron discipline to the party, one that ensured that, in public at least, everyone stayed on message. (The one exception to this was Captain O’Shea, who frequently went against the party line – but then again, Parnell was fucking O’Shea’s wife.) Although the Home Rule party imploded after the O’Shea divorce scandal, the party whip entered political culture, and has remained ever since.

In more recent times, though, Fine Gael has abandoned the party whip - especially since the party elected Enda Kenny as its leader, and the Labour party elected him as its next Taoiseach. If policy is seen by what you do rather than what you say, then Fine Gael has re-adopted the Irish party’s electoral policy of the 1870s. Rather than one party, one leader, one voice, Fine Gael is speaking in tongues, each utterance uttered with utter conviction. To each of its TDs, solo runs are the Word, the Way, the Light, and the Truth – the path to securing one’ seat.

The latest in this long, long, line of singular statement starters is (MEP) Jim Higgins, who wants child benefit stopped to any parent whose child is subject to an ASBO.
Irish child benefit is not means tested. The payment is given ‘to the son or daughter of Michael Smurfit in the same way as they are paid to those on low incomes.’ (Eamonn Ryan, Dáil Debates, 2003)

Jim Higgins told RTE that child benefit week is known as Karaoke Week in Limerick, which certainly puts a new slant on the recreational activities of the Smurfits. The problem here is poor people. Fine Gael doesn’t like them. Higgins backed up his stance by saying that 99 per cent of all callers to radio talk shows on ‘Ocean FM, NWR, Shannon/Northern Sound, Limerick FM, Waterford FM and Clare FM’ agreed with his stance.

A national social policy set by the nutters who ring daytime radio talk shows. That’ll win you Dublin.

With every solo run, Fine Gael is hacking off its balls with a rusty blade, handed to it by its own children. If Fine Gael were to place these solo runs back to back they would stretch to the moon – appropriately enough, as it is the place where Fine Gael TDs get most of their ideas from.

Fine Gael’s head office shrugged off Jim Higgins’ comments as ‘personal opinion.’ Oh dear. A TD does not have a personal opinion, especially in an election year. If Enda Kenny can’t control his party now, what chance has he got with a dozen ministers all with budgets and all building their personal fiefdoms?