Dublin Opinion

We Irish are a lonely bunch. Blessed with a pathological self-obsession, we have developed a number of coping mechanisms, almost all of which, of course, include drink. Yet the web has given us a new way of knocking the edge off that loneliness, of tapping into a wider consciousness, and pole-vaulting our energies into much more creative displays than wiping the puke from last night’s shoes.

The web has given us blogs, but, more importantly, it has also given us porn. And the Irish, it seems, have embraced porn quicker than a whiskey chaser in Mulligans.

In a recent study undertaken by the assembled hacks at Dublin Opinion, it was found that Ireland ranks third in the world when it comes to searching for porn on the internet.

This despite the fact that there are no porn sites in Ireland – at least, not with the domain .ie. The Sunday Times carried a report last week on the efforts of one businessman who tried to register www.porn.ie, unfortunately without success. With the web, however, national boundaries are meaningless and the Irish are gleefully lapping up all manners of sordid pleasures through their browsers.

According to Google Trends, the tops for porn searches on the internet are the South Africans and the Kiwis, with the Irish getting sloppy thirds.

The report is based on the amount of times a search that contains or is comprised of the word ‘porn’ is entered into Google. Actual figures are not available, but Google Trends does give a city-by-city breakdown. For Ireland that pans out as follows:

Now, least you think that somehow this survey is less than scientific, we at Dublin Opinion took it one further and asked Google Trends who’s asking for ‘fucking’ in Ireland.

Interesting isn’t it? This next search, however, involved asking Google for a particular sexual act.

Well blow me! Waterford finds itself on its knees despite coming out on top!

Finally, it was left to ask Google Trends whether the Irish were capable of a softer side, of letting go of the easy fix and actually putting one search forward on the road to commitment and happiness.

Alas, it is not to be. So now, it’s official. The Irish are searching for many things, but true love just aint one of them. (Sob!). Time to pass the tissues.